Long, elaborated phone conversations are one of those arts; girls have mastered and fallen in love with on levels we can never comprehend. If you love them and leave them fast, you probably don’t have to dread the pain of this activity, but if you want to keep on dating the same girl for a while, being able to carry on a decent, engaging conversation on the phone is one of those things you might consider manning up and doing. It will score you major points, and will make her love you with minimal effort.
Have a Topic of Conversation Ready
The point is to let her do most of the talking, but for that to happen; you have to get her going. Have a few light, fun topics of conversation handy that you know she likes to discuss, and use one to seed the call right from the get go. If you’re lucky, her reply to your initial questions and statements will always give you fuel to ask another mini essay question that lets her converse to her heart’s content.
This is especially important when you’re calling her up rather than just receiving her call—and you will be doing this at some point, because it will make her putty in your hands that you took the initiative to punch in her digits. Any time you can take the lead, you show off your confidence and ambition, which puts you in alpha status, even if you’re spending an hour listening to her cry about Hollywood break-ups. When meeting girls online, this can make all the difference to landing in-person dates. Many potential partners find they do fine conversing over email or text chatting, but when they actually have to speak, things get awkward fast. Taking the plunge and having voice conversations before you meet will prevent a first date fail in the area of conversation. Plus it gives you a chance to check out if her voice confirms the hotness of her profile picture.
Dude, there is nothing more impersonal than the phone. It’s the thing you use to order pizza, call a cab and try to fool your boss into thinking it’s the flu instead of another hang over. But for chicks, phone conversations are intimate space to reveal all your deep, dark secrets. This may not be where you want to relive your childhood trauma, but it needs to be a place where you at least attempt opening up to her. Try looking at a picture of her, her profile, or old emails while you talk to her. It might help remind you she’s still that same girl on the other end that you’ve been digging.
If you’re meeting girls online you have an advantage here, because you’ve probably spent more time trading emails and IMs to get a sense of what she really likes to share. Calling a girl you met for a few hours at the bar is much more of an unknown. But all is not lost; if you plan ahead some small sharing topics that make you feel like you’re revealing deep parts of yourself for her ears only. Do you have an unusual hobby you can pretend to be shy about? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t? If nothing else, your deep feelings on fantasy football will be enough to convince her you’re getting personal over the wires.
Learn to Multi-task
You do have some interest in at least hearing her voice if not the thoughts expressed in it, but that doesn’t mean the phone will ever become less boring. Use this time to do the other meaningless time fillers you only need half a brain for. Clip your toenails, throw in a load of laundry, go through the fridge looking for rotten food—do the last one only if you can make it through without terrible and inappropriate exclamations that derail the conversation. She won’t be half as happy to hear about how your mold is so advanced it has metropolitan centers. Trust us.
As long as you’re throwing in proper responses in her conversation breaks, and asking a few informed questions, she’ll think you’re actively listening and be pleased. The best way to do this if you’re not fully paying attention is to ask a question that partially repeats the last thing she said. Hey, if you heard the last sentence, you clearly got all of that, right?
Ask Engaging Questions
The “topics” mentioned above don’t have to be in statement format. Always have a list of questions ready to go that require more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer. She’ll likely not only give you a drawn out response, but elaborate on her feelings, letting you off the hook for carrying the conversation. It conveys a really personal interest in her, too, and she’ll feel flattered that you’ve asked for her opinions and thoughts.
Open questions are kind of the backbone of ways to meet girls online, so you’ll need to master this skill anyway if you’re trying to expand your dating scene. Be prepared with ice breakers over a range of topics that you’re comfortable discussing—and make sure you have your own smooth answer to them if she makes you take your own turn. Though feel free to keep it more succinct than she will be.
Give Her a Little Mystery
This is done in two ways, and we’ll explain both. First, don’t offer up every detail about yourself in the first conversation. Yes, personal sharing is good, but getting your whole life story out there too quickly will leave her nothing to discover in later conversations. Give her little tidbits at a time, and let her keep re-experiencing the thrill of finding out a little more about you. This is an especially good trick when meeting with girls you first found online, and using opportunities like phone conversations as a build up to meeting in person. It’ll get her squirming with anticipation if she knows she’s only getting you one chapter at time.
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A second thing to remember is that she will talk to you all day if she can. Not only do you really not want to do this for the sake of your tolerance levels, but hanging around on the phone with her for too long stops making her feel appreciated at some point and turns her to wondering if you really have a life outside of her. Use your crammed-fully schedule as an excuse to make a firm exit at an opportune moment—preferably before conversation lulls to a slow “so yeah” that you’re lobbing back and forth casually listening to each other breathing. Not cool – Make sure to end strong on a high note that will cement a positive association in her mind with you and the art of conversation. Total win!
We’re not expecting you to fall in love with the phone, and if she was being honest, she wouldn’t either. Learning just how not to totally bomb with voice conversations will make you seem considerate and approachable, and the more she talks to you, the more favorable your conditions will be to score—which is your ultimate goal here, right?